Someone had shared on Facebook this poorly researched article (published by the Huffington Post, no less), on how men “emotionally manipulate” women by calling their oversensitivity. Written by a dude, at that.
This guy argues that, by pointing out to a woman that she may be overreacting to a certain situation, you are effectively making her question her sanity. Never mind that she goes batshit insane every time you so much as look at another woman. Extreme example? Hardly. I used to date someone like that.
The writer, who helpfully informs us that he is no mental health professional (you don’t say?!), insists on using an obscure term used by psychologists to describe this action. And that term is ‘gaslighting.’
Here is a quick definition stolen from Wikipedia:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the play Gas Light and its film adaptations. In those works a character uses a variety of tricks, including turning the gas lamps lower than normal, to convince his spouse that she is crazy. Since then it became a colloquial expression which has now also been used in clinical and research literature.
And here is our author waxing eloquent on how the term is used in, in his opinion, a more modern context:
Today, when the term is referenced, it’s usually because the perpetrator says things like, “You’re so stupid,” or “No one will ever want you,” to the victim. This is an intentional, pre-meditated form of gaslighting, much like the actions of Charles Boyer’s character in Gaslight, where he strategically plots to confuse Ingrid Bergman’s character into believing herself unhinged.
….
And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair.
Really, Freud?
Yeah, let’s just conveniently brush aside all documented evidence for women being generally more sensitive and emotional than men due to biological reasons, and just accuse men of being manipulative. Because hey, objectivity can be a bitch.
Image courtesy sodahead.com
But let’s just humour him and say, for argument’s sake, that women are, in fact, no more sensitive or emotionally driven than men, and we’re just being dicks. (Because these feminists are so big on equality). Does that mean that guys are any less sensitive? Are we all heartless douchebags who strangle babies and feed them to puppies, just for fun? Come on!
Some of us are pretty sensitive and sometimes we, too, can “overreact” to certain situations. And more often than not, women are quick to point this out. Seriously, if you’re a guy, and you’re reading this, can you honestly tell me that you’ve never heard a woman say “don’t be so sensitive,” or “God, stop overreacting” to you every time you tried to show them they were in the wrong?
My point is, we’re all sensitive creatures who react to being wronged, no matter what organ we choose to pee with. Some (both men and women) are capable of being more rational about it all. Others, unfortunately, aren’t. At the end of the day, both sides are guilty of this, and both sides are equally guilty of pointing their finger at the other, shouting, “crazy!”
So, why the bias?
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